iTunes shuffle

Read more! Talk about first 10 songs on shuffle

1. Apparat - Headup ft. Raz Ohara
Apparat is one of my favorite electronica bands. So this song is very spacey. Not much else to say. Good background music.

2. The Beatles - Golden Slumbers
I first heard this song as a Ben Folds cover I think. I have the unpopular opinion that Abbey Road is the weakest post-Rubber Soul album

3. Dwight Yoakam - If You Were Me
Very honky tonk. It was originally a song by some 40s singer named Webb Pierce. I've never heard it before, but it was pretty good.

4. The Dave Brubeck Quartet - Blue Rondo a la Turk
This song is from the incredible album "Time out" (1959) I listed to this song and album all the time when I'm studying. I think it's my favorite jazz album. It has a great piano beat as a basis for the song, and it has some awesome saxophone solos.

5. Yo La Tengo - Spec Bebop
10 minutes of ambience. Very average. Typical boring indie song. 6 minutes in and i quit

6. The New Pornographers - Letter from an Occupant
Weird nonsensical lyrics.. but if you don't pay attention to the content it's catchy. The words sound good together, and Neko Case has a good voice.

7. The Lemonheads - If I Could Talk I'd Tell You
Just got this album after recommendation from Andrew. Great song. I thought the lemonheads were supposed to be punky, but this song is definitely indie rock.

8. Jethro Tull - Cold Wind to Valhalla
From one of my favorite prog bands (see unlike Drew I can admit I like prog.. I love prog =P) It's a very folk-style Led Zeppelin type song. Good stuff.

9. John Prine - Yes, I Guess, They Oughtta Name a Drink After You
"Oh I get drunk most every night/seems like all we do is fight/the more I drink, the less I feel blue/sometimes I feel like an awful fool/spending my life on an old barstool/and yes I guess they oughtta name a drink after you"
It's a great breakup/drinking song. "It'd take all the booze in the world to forget you"

Great country song from Prine.

10. Elliott Smith - Let's Get Lost
Very sad song but it sounds pretty.. maybe about heroin?

"I had true love/I made it die/I pushed her away/She said please stay/Burning every bridge that I cross/To find some beautiful place to get lost"

Read more! I was very excited for this shit. I don't think I've taken a dump since yesterday morning -- I'm not in the mood to update the blog when I wake up so no post. I had to poo last night during my 3 hr long midterm, but one of the rules was "NO LEAVING THE ROOM FOR ANY REASON, NOT EVEN TO GO TO THE BATHROOM." That was on the projector for the room. Great rule. He told us to "plan ahead." I peed three times in the two hours leading up to the exam, but I didn't see a poo wave coming. I managed to finish the exam without a turtlehead, but by the end of the exam I didn't have to crap anymore. This morning when I woke up I had to shit, but I didn't have time. When I got home from class I went straight to sleep and by the time I woke up it was Starcraft followed by trivia. Got home for trivia, kind of had to poo, but I decided to watch 30 Rock and the Office. As soon as 30rock was over I ran to the bathroom and let out a big deuce. It was three large turds with a couple smaller ones. Anyway, onto the big news. Judy joined me as usual for my shit, but this time, about halfway through after I'd already done her photo-op, she jumped in the litter box and took a shit. Good Stuff, pics after the cut.

OPPII: The Choo Choo Poo Poo

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Hi, I'm bonitis. The illustrious Atlanta contributurdor of AthensPoops.

When I first heard about AthensPoops, I couldn't believe my timing. A seemingly perfect poop story was blooming at the perfect time. Turns out, shitting yourself on the side of a busy road isn't as fun as you'd think.

Austin, TX. 2009. Spring break. Excuse me...SPPPRRRINNNGG BREEEEAK!!! That's better. I was staying at a friend's co-op with about 100 other friendly people. SXSW was going on, and I was enjoying the orgy of free food and alcohol. I'm boring you, so let's talk about shit.

The week was full of epic poops, but the frequency was more impressive than anything. I guess beer shits are pretty continuous when you continuously drink beer. My entire week of shits culminated in a very pooptastic climax on my final night (Saturday). 

After returning from a crazy outdoor concert that starred the Monatonix (incredibly hairy Israelis who played most of their set in or on top of the crowd--including the drums), The Circle Jerks, and the Black Lips. After the raging concert, the stage was set for Choo Choo. If you don't know Choo Choo, you are kidding yourself or retarded. I'll tell you anyways (real slowly though). Choo Choo is a Swiss "garage pop" band that was visiting Texas for SXSW and a few other shows. Three of the five band members stayed at the co-op, and I enjoyed getting wasted with them throughout the week. They were scheduled to perform their final American show Saturday night at the co-op.

Before the train hit the tracks, I donned one of my diapers. I brought several diapers, but only two touched asses--my ass and, surprisingly, Ryan's. Ryan is a diaper alumnus--he was the headliner at the failed Operation Poopy Pants I (OPPI): Halloween in Shitlanta. After about 15 minutes, Ryan's diaper was gone, and he was naked. He is almost always naked--the co-op is clothing optional. 

When I reached the stage area, my diaper was immediately ripped by an over-zealous female. To compensate for the loss of structural integrity, I circumscribed my waist with 2 layers of packing tape. I would need the extra strength. Then, I danced and partied for several hours. Some people presumed my diaper was full of shit, but it only contained a few pee leakage drops at that point. I responded to any poop comments by saying "Eventually!" Many laughed me off, just like they all did with Hitler. People never learn. 

I then decided that Operation Poopy Pants II (OPPII): The Choo Choo Poo Poo had to be taken up a notch. I moved to the back deck and proceeded to force all the pee out of my bladder as I tried to poop myself. The lack of evacuation was surprising and frustrating. I had not pooped for a few hours, and I figured it would be time, especially considering the week's trend. Alas, no poop was pooped. 

I decided to take a stroll around the block and headed toward a busy intersection. I leaned against a fencepost in front of The Mansion--the site of Drew's cousin's recent wedding. I found this ironic. Put it this way--If Drew ever becomes a contributor, he will be the most irregular blog poster (HIYO!). Anyways, the ghost of constipated Drew hindered my efforts, and I remained shitless and leaning as cars honked and hollered at me.

Finally--suddenly--a chunky, seedy brown rope surged past my defeated sphincter. I was amazed at how the early day's sunflower seeds had already passed through the maze of digestive tubes. I eat full-shelled sunflower seeds, so it was quite obvious what the fibrous remains scraping my bowels were. It continued to race out of me as I sighed with pleasure and relief. It was mostly solid, though very soft. Without frequent diaper use, it is easy to forget how warm shit is. Imagine somebody pouring a a bowl of warm chili in your trousers. The quantity, though not massive, was sufficient to make movement difficult and comfort nonexistent. 

Fresh, airy human shit smells so badly it's amazing. Every time, I am staggered by the raw face-scrunching power of it. This time was no exception, except that the stench followed me wherever I went. I couldn't outrun the stench demon we instantly flush or bury. No matter how quickly I waddled, the shit was never far behind. 

Somehow, I made it into the co-op undetected. At this point, I no longer felt whatever fucked up motivation I had initially. I did not want to talk to anybody while still transporting the presidential cargo. I made it into a bathroom, dropped the diaper into a bag, and dropped the bag into a Shiner box. I grabbed a roll of paper towels and went to town. The paper towel accumulation was big enough to qualify as its own self-governed Shitnation (under Shit). I transferred the box outside (while naked, I think), and immediately took a shower. 

After showering, I took the gift box to the now-abandoned back porch as an offering of gratitude to my hosts. A couple people in-the-know stopped to smell the contents: "Ugh!!....yeah...that IS shit!" 

When I went to drive back to Atlanta Sunday afternoon, the box remained on the deck. OPPII: The Choo Choo Poo Poo lives on.

Note: I wrote a lot of this later that night when I was really drunk, so excuse any nonsensical/bad writing.

Read more! 1. What Do You, Like, Totally Wish Your Name Was?:
Fatdick
2. What is Your Favorite Quark?
Charm
3. Isotope?:
U-238
4. If You Could Be Any Sexual Act, What Would You Be?:
Blumpkin
5. If Your First Child Turns Out to Be a Homosexual Democrat, Would You Then Support Funding for Time Travel So That You Could Go Back in Time and Abort Your Heathen, Jesus-Hating Devil-Child?
If it were a brown baby abortion
6. Naked Twister with Old People or Listening to the Indigo Girls for Sixteen Hours?
Count me in
7. Who's Hotter: the Aflac Duck or the Budweiser Lizards?:
Aflac Duck.. this is dated
8. If You Had to Live in a City in the Democratic Republic of the Congo That Wasn't Kinshasa...WHAT NUMBER AM I THINKING OF?:
NUMBER 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9. Does the Phrase "Trickle-Down Economics" Arouse You at All?
It's reminiscent of those diarrheas that are like peeing out of my butt
10. What If I Arch my Eyebrows When I Say It?
Even more so
11. Which One Friend Would You NOT Trust with Your Life?
I think it would be James or Gene.. They tend to be asleep when I call them. Unless it's a reasonable hour like 5 am.
12. Which One Friend Do You Have the Urge to Kill After He or She Tells Another One of His or Her Lame-Ass Sexual Innuendo Jokes?
Probably myself. I ask people if they've checked their butt for whatever they are looking for a few hundred times per week.
13. Which Fashion Accessory Would You Rather See Make a Huge Comeback: Bonnets or Poodle Skirts?
Most definitely POOdle skirts (get it? I capitalized the POO in poodle)
14. How Is It That Gene Can Churn Out Twenty Five Xanga Posts in the Time It Takes Jason to Squeeze One Out?
Gene's churned out about 25 in the last year and you've churned out 1. Not too hard to do.

Beer Shits wave one

Read more! So I went to one of my trivia buddy's birthday parties. A lot of drunk food (nachos, donuts, quesadillas)and Old Milwaukee Light (10 bucks a case!)

Now the poop is coming. It's very soft and smelly. Came out very quick.. in like 15 seconds. I think there will definitely be a 2nd wave in the coming hours.




Judy joined me as I was uploading the pics! I can't wait until we have an actual team poo.

Orinal po(op)st

Read more! So welcome to the blog. I'm athenspoops and I'll be liveblogging my poops for all of my loyal readers. I've had this idea for years, but now I'm finally implementing it.

Anyway, last night I had cornbread, pulled pork, and salad for dinner followed by ihop and chickfila today. I just finished a lubricating cigarette for a glorious poop. It started out very fast just dropping like a bomb out of my rectum, but now the remainder is lingering as I type. So nothing can drop without a hitch. I wanted to make the op on my computer, but it went on standby as the first turd fell. Well I think I'm done for now. The picture and analysis will be posted shortly.



As you can see, it's a bunch of clumps. No solid turds.

You might hear from Dirty Brown and Andrew Caplopola later on. Au revoir.

P.S. Dirty Brown says my poop looks like refried beans.